Donald and Melania Trump Have Both Tested Positive for COVID-19

October 2, 2020, 12:26am

Well, it's official. President Trump and Melania have both tested positive for COVID-19.

I received an e-mail from The White House Press Office 21 minutes ago with a pdf copy of a Memorandum from the President's Physician confirming the positive test results. A copy of that pdf is above.

I hate to disappoint all the disgusting malcontents who hope the President dies. Actually, that's not true. I'm quite pleased to disappoint them with the survival rates for COVID-19 according to the Centers for Disease Control:

0-19: 99.997%
20-49: 99.98%
50-69: 99.5%
70+: 94.6%

In other words, the overwhelming odds are that Donald and Melania will be just fine.