TSA = Tyrants Searching Atrociously
November 12, 2024 7:11pm
TSA, the so-called "Transportation Security Administration," does very little for transportation security. But they sure do a lot for inconveniencing American citizens trying to exercise their right to travel.
I have been fully vetted for TSA's Global Entry program, which includes Pre-Check. Pre-Check usually means expedited clearance because shoes remain on, liquids need not be separated, and laptops can remain in luggage. Travelers with Pre-Check usually walk through an old-fashioned metal detector rather than the newer backscatter machines. But having Pre-Check does not exempt someone from further screening or scrutiny. And so began my ordeal at Chicago's O'Hare airport this morning.
After placing my luggage on the conveyor belt, I walked through the metal detector. No metal was detected. But I was told by the agent that I needed to walk back through and step aside to await further screening. I had been "randomly" selected for more detailed screening despite having cleared the standard procedures. So I waited. And waited. And waited.
I could not see my luggage at the other end of the conveyor belt. Eventually, an agent came over and told me to empty my pockets, put my wallet and passport into a bin, and go through the backscatter machine.
Knowing that my wallet would be going through the x-ray machine out of my view, and knowing that TSA agents are known for stealing from travelers, (not to mention any traveler who would be able to steal my wallet while I was undergoing the anal probe) I told the agent I would carry my wallet through, and if it needed to be inspected by hand he could do so. He told me again to put my wallet and passport in the bin. I again refused. This, by the way, is absolutely my right. His demand violated TSA's own protocols & procedures.
I proceeded through the backscatter machine without incident. But then came the hand inspection of the wallet. He emptied my wallet of all cash, receipts, and credit cards. He tried to remove my driver's license also, but he couldn't get it to budge. Then, because hiding explosives between dollar bills must be a common thing for terrorists, he proceeded to separate every bill as if he was dealing cards at a poker table. He did the same thing with my credit cards. Perhaps fearing that my receipts would be used as kindling to start a fire on the plane, he separated each of those as well. I was left with an empty wallet and its former contents scattered.
When he began to put things back into my wallet, I said, "I'll put those back. You don't know where any of it goes." He responded, "OK. Have a nice day." My response was "Yeah, it's too late for that now." After reorganizing my wallet, I wormed my way through the crowd to the end of the conveyor belt to retrieve my luggage.
Why was there a crowd at the conveyor belt? Because my luggage was still on it, thus squishing everyone else's luggage into the cramped space just past the x-ray machine tunnel. The entire ordeal took about 15 minutes.
Despite being vetted with a background check, I and/or my luggage gets selected for additional screening about 70% of the time I travel. That doesn't seem random to me.
Today's incident is now added to my other problems with TSA: Chicago (a few years ago), Newark, Columbia, Juneau, Seattle, Richmond, Las Vegas, West Palm Beach, Washington, and others I don't specifically recall at the moment.
TSA is horrible. And they have never caught a terrorist. But they've let many terrorists through. That's facts.